my cat is smarter than your honor student

This post goes out to the, "Tater."

~May this years harvest break your back~

On my way to lunch the other day I came up behind a car riddled with bumper stickers, that left me with some questions. For the guy I was behind my question for him was, do you even know where the bumper is? His decorated van of biased opinions sure had a lot to say, but as I looked down at his bumper, I noticed it was bare. Not a single bumper sticker anywhere. Why? Does he not know that a bumper sticker is for his bumper? Did I miss an e-mail informing me to move all bumper stickers up to your back glass for vision impairing purposes? Thinking this guy has got life all wrong, I switched lanes.

As I motored on, I came up behind a white Toyota, which unlike the minivan had bumper stickers in the right place, but also featured a family of stickers on it's back glass. By the number of stick figures it boasted, I could tell these folks never heard of birth control.

Desperate to get my double cheeseburger, I tried to strategize my next lane change as I sat at a long and painful red light. To my left another sticker portrayed an avid doberman lover. I wondered if this was the infamous owner of Chopper. You know Chopper. In the movie Stand By Me, he was the dog that was trained to "sick balls." I looked back up at the light waiting for the green illumination to appear. It had come. I quickly accelerated leaving Chopper to eat my carbon emissions and whipped into my favorite burger joint. Finally, I was safe at last, or was I?

Five cars deep in the drive thru, I peered over my steering wheel to see the most disturbing sticker of the afternoon. "In the event of a rapture, this car will be unmanned." Heaven, if your listening... can we delay rapture, just until I place my order. I really want a double cheeseburger.

Democrat vs Republican ... it's the same thing!

These two parties used to stand for different things, with different beliefs and different values, but today, these two cartoon characters stand for the same thing. So why do we hate one party more than the other when the two are cut from the same loaf of bread? (both being the butt ends of that loaf)

They both believe in being "up in your business," and feel like they need to protect you in the name of freedom, when what they are doing is defying that very thing. As our forefathers taught us, freedom is a right. A right you have to earn and sure you can tax our freedom, but not without representation. Recent Republicans protected you from terrorism, but at a price tag that would make stores on Hollywood Blvd blush. Democrats now have the seat in order to protect you from the future of global warming, it's going to cost you, and your children, and their children. So where do you come in? That would be our democratic right to vote, and to be represented, but wait... you didn't get that chance did you? How about your kids? Oh they can't vote so taking their money is okay. Really?

Another common theme between the two, power. Growing their powers in order to line their pockets from big business is becoming a familiar trend between these two parties. Think your government cares about you? They might, but they're going to need to take a look at that checkbook of yours before they consider you. Welcome to the "good ol' boys club."

What's crazy about this whole circle, is we never learn about how corrupt our administration really is until the end of their term, or after they're out of office. When did Monica appear? Towards the end, when the Republicans needed your vote in the upcoming election. How bout Bush and his horrible water boarding tactics, in the end when McCain was depicted as the same in-humane person as Bush.

Is there more? So much more, and the sad thing is ... you already know all of this. So, my point is, quit buttering the same bread and telling me that this year it's different, this time our new leader will be different. He's not different, none of them have been different for a long time! The two parties want you to believe that, but whens the last time you really felt that your party was listening to you. When was the last time your government stood up and said, "America, I hear you, and you are right." Where is our freedom that was given to us on the day we were born? Is it gone? I'm afraid it is. What about your children? They are now being born into the world with I.O.U.'s and a debt they had nothing to do with. Your kids future kids are already in debt to our government, and they aren't even born yet? Come on! If this doesn't sound crazy, what does? When will you look up and say, that doesn't sound right? What does it take for you to stand up for yourself, and tell this bully known as our government to BACK OFF! If you're not going to do it for yourself, then do it for your kids.

The pants of our government have been growing for a long time and have gotten to big, but until you stand up and say, "enough is enough," it's not going to end. I'm sorry, but I fear soon those size 38's that used to fit so snug at the end of the our last administration, will soon become a size 40.

democrats . . . this is not your savior

I am not a Democrat, (as depicted by the picture) nor am I a Republican. I am just an American with an opinion, so quit trying to shove your political agenda on me.

As an American I have a right, no I have a freedom, to speak about what I wish, freely. I make no apologies for my opinion, and I ask no one to make them on my behalf. However, as of recent, a newly elected political figure feels like he must apologize on my behalf to others, yet I don't remember asking him to do so.

As of recent he has also pumped billions of trillions of dollars into an economy, that if it's to remain a capitalist society, should be allowed to reset on it's own. Now as we watch 4 billion in tax dollars go into bankruptcy, I wonder how my children are going to survive paying back a debt they had nothing to do with.

I'm concerned about the carbon credits, and Al's hidden agenda on pushing something that will be nothing more than a profit for big business. One of the biggest in business, our government. See for those of you who don't know your government is a business, and in order to stay afloat, they need us. But, without your willingness to stand up for yourself, I'm afraid this is a boat that will stay afloat for quite some time.

I never asked to own a bank, yet now I do. I don't have time to run a car company, but now I have to figure out how. I don't know much about insurance, but I'm in the business, anyone need a policy? Oh, and because I am a great guy I've also picked up some of my neighbors mortgage's. Did I mention I had a lot of neighbors?

With all of my new found hobbies that my government has put me on the hook for, I barely have time to myself. Cough, is that the swine flu? Great guess I'm going to buy some hospitals soon!

Republican or Democratic, you have got to quit putting your political figure on a pedestal. Both parties stand for the same thing, which is being in the business of being all up in your business. If you want my attention quit telling me what your party "used too" stand for. (you know, as your parents and professors have brain washed you to believe) Instead tell me how they're helping, by getting off my back and allowing me to be what I was born to be. A free and proud American, with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

your roadside memorial may be dangerous?

Here's a topic that I'm sure is disturbing to many, but one that needs to be addressed. Roadside memorials seem to be growing trend and as they become so, there seems to be a competition on who's is the most elaborate. All though I understand every ones need to grieve, I don't understand why roadside memorials are becoming more than just that, a memorial.

It used to be a ribbon tied around a pole or a cross staked into the ground to symbolize the final resting place of a loved one who was so suddenly taken from our world. However today's memorials are now eye cathers for all to see, and actually becoming a danger to drivers who take a few extra moments to look, instead of keeping thier eyes where they are supposed to be, on the road.

Today these "super memorials" come complete with pictures, stuffed animals, balloons, and even special lighting for nighttime allumination. With all of this stuff, its impossible for a person not to notice. So am I insensitive to those who have a lost a loved one? I really don't think so. I am concerned, just as you are when you get behind someone who is texting rather than driving. We all know that it only takes a slight distraction to cause a major accident, as I'm sure was the case for the roadside memorial.

Now if some of these memorials were signs they would be a violation of city code because of the placement. See the following link for regulations. http://www.ci.springfield.mo.us/egov/planning_development/TaskForce/sign_regs.html

In many situations theses memorials violate lighting regulations, streamer violations, and other variations of this law, and are clearly a danger to passing motorists.

In closing I would like to say, if this has offended anyone, please accept my apologies. I am in no way saying you don't have the right to grieve your loved ones. However, if we are going to keep our city safe, lets at least tone it down.

lo mein pork flu ... only $4.99

Today's epidemic is the swine flu. Tomorrow will be a new disaster, and so on and so on. If your smart, you'll wash your hands of this whole pork bellied media hype (please do, I don't want to get sick) and go on with your life.

Believe it or not the folks at CDC ( Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ) tell us to do the same thing for this swine flu that we do for the normal everyday flu. The list is a little overwhelming, but here it is:

First, cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze.

Second, wash your hands often with soap & water, especially after you cough or sneeze.

Lastly, avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread that way.

These steps seem to be a far stretch, but now that you have been updated from the same things your mom taught you and your kindergarten teacher, it's time for you to get back to your merry life. As most disasters come, (like Y2K) this too will pass. Remember you live in a a country, that has great health care, and as long as you do the simple things your mother always told you to do, everything will be just fine.

Could I tie this blog to the massive flocking of illegals that will be jumping our fence to escape the lastest pig outbreak, sure. But what would I have to write about tomorrow?