You want to say something, in fact you need to say something, but you hold back, you withdraw and because of that your relationship is doomed. Your inability to say what you want to say, and to mean what you really mean, will destroy everything you have built. Simply put, a house without a foundation, is a mobile home and when a tornado comes to town I know which one I'd rather be in. Not to take away from mobile homes... they do serve a purpose, but if your relationship is a motor home, it will not survive the ups and down of deadly twister.So why are you holding back? What are you truly afraid of? You know, if you ignore the problem it won't go away. In fact it will only grow, and before you know it your mobile home will be tested. So break it down, and be honest with yourself. If you address the problem, whatever it may be, ask yourself ... what's the worst case scenario? Now, here's the part where you need to be honest with yourself, and no the world will not end. Once you've realized the worst case, ask yourself, "can I deal with that situation, if it happens." Again be honest with yourself, there is nothing to be afraid of. Oh, and one more thing. This situation, this mess, you made it, it's time to fix it, okay.
So break it down like this:
1. Can I handle the worst case scenario. (Remember you came to this relationship with no fears, why can't you resolve it with no fears?)
2. Once you have accepted that you can handle the worst case scenario, look beyond that and ask yourself, how can I build from that? Should the worst come true, all is not lost. Remember, this is worst case. Best case, issue resolved, and now you can move on.
3. Lastly, and the most important. Address the situation, and do not provoke. State your concern, why it's important to you, and how it will benefit, you both. If they are not receptive, your probably living in a mobile home. If they are receptive, then you are loved.
Once you eliminate the fear in your head, and address the matter at hand, you'll see that these very simple steps can be used in all aspects of your life. I used relationships as an example, but you can use these with friends, work, politics, etc. Is this bullet proof? No, even the Titanic sunk. But seriously, what have you got to lose?
