stop the bleeding

If I could turn it off I would, but due to an ever wondering mind it's just not that simple.

Time and time again I try to avoid meaningless conversation, because honestly in my mind, there's just no more room. I want to listen, I really do, but what you have to say does not stimulate my interests enough to provoke an actual conversation.

Sound familiar? If not, your the one with all the stories I care nothing about. Encountering these people is a daily event, and I'm sure as exciting as their life may be (in their head), it truely means nothing to me.

Seriously, as you stand there telling me about your night last night, I'm screaming on the inside "WHO REALLY CARES!" What I want to say to you is, "Yes, I caught that episode of Sienfield, 10 years ago. It wasn't that funny then, and it still wasn't funny last night." Why am I even talking to you about this? (Serenity now!) Meaningless conversations waste a lot of time and have little to offer. Yet, somehow, I always feel a bit of guilt when I don't give my undivided attention. Am I just that much better then you, or am I just that big of an ass? Do I care?

Either way, I always wonder, had I stopped to listen to you, could I have learned something? Something important, that would have meant something in my life? Did I let an opportunity escape, that could have changed my life? And most importantly, how have I made it this far in life without knowing anything about the diarrhea now spewing from your mouth?

Sure, I always enjoy the way I segue out of a conversation, it's truley magical. So much so, that even Houdini turns in his grave. Still, I can't help to wonder, have I turned my own faucet off; just to stop the bleeding? (the bleeding in my ears) Perhaps. But, then again, by you reading this . . . have I just done to you, what I don't want done to me?

a woman's body is her right . . . right?

I have always believed that a woman's body is her right, and no matter your political agenda, and your left OR right wing views, you have no right to impose your beliefs "onto" anyone.

So why am I even trying to tackle this one? Well, like the song says, I'm "torn between two lovers" (feeling like a fool). Like most, I care about a lot of issues, but where the road goes one way for some, mine detours to another town. Welcome to my head, population me.

As an adult we have certain responsibilities, one of which is governing ourselves, self regulation. So why the rant? Recently something I have been observing, which never really bothered me before, has begun to fester and although I believe in the right to govern our own body, I can't help but to feel the pain of an unborn infant. I have oserved an expectant mother who is well along her pregnancy continue to smoke as if the child she is growing inside has no right to be there. Although she has done this the entire time she has been pregnant, I have never really been bothered by this until recently. So where am I wrong? Are my beliefs of self regulation clouding my mind from the reality of the situation?

The answer is no. Shocking as that may sound, and as harmful my opinion is to this unborn child, my beliefs need to remain my beliefs. Freedom is a choice that we all take for granted, and although this woman treads on hers without disregard for others, the choice is still hers. My feelings, and my beliefs are mine and mine alone, and I have no right to impose them onto her. As much as I disagree with what she's doing, she has every right.

i asked you a question. what?

If a question goes unanswered, was it ever a question to begin with? If you just read that question without an answer, you too have become disconnected. (and no the question wasn't rhetorical) Had I sent that question via a text message, then would have you replied?

Often times our "busy" lives just don't have time for the important things, one of which would be listening. In fact I bet you can think of a couple of people right now, that when asked a question, it seems as though you are asking them to give up their life for an answer. Maybe, that's the problem? We are asking them to give up their life, even if it's just a moment, it's a piece of their life that they will never get back. How dare you cloud up their day with a question, in which they know the answer too, but are way to busy to answer. You have some nerve.

So maybe it wasn't greedy corporate America that destoyed our economy, or the politicians in D.C. I'll bet you that the little man, the average American who makes $30,000 a year, who bought a $250,000 dollar home had nothing to do with it eithier, right? After all when their conscience asked the question is this right, we answered ourselves, didn't we? Maybe today's economy is a result of ourselves being to busy to answer our ownselves. I'll bet had I texted myself, do you really need to be buying this big screen right now, I may have answered myself. Perhaps, even then, I was to busy.

So what's the point? (like you've been listening) Lend an ear, because whether you believe it or not, the next question you hear may decide your future, or what your doing for lunch today.